Thursday, April 11, 2013

How Do I Put This?

I've been in a quandary the last couple of weeks about posting on The Boston Lady.  It's my happy place where even if things are less than ideal I can go and find the positive side of things and even make myself laugh.

I'm usually drawn to write a post maybe three times a week or more if I'm really on a roll or there's a lot going on in our lives.

Well, there's a lot going on in our lives, but I just haven't been able to bring myself to the point of sitting down and writing about it.  First of all, I always try to keep my blog on the upside of things. Humor and laughter are great healers and I always enjoy a good chuckle, even at my own expense.  Second, I don't like to trespass on my family's privacy - I'm fair game, Mr. T, well, poor man, he's so good natured, he doesn't mind being fair game either, but I try to just stick with funny little stories or what we've been up to with various family members.

Third, I didn't think it was fair of me to keep asking people to keep my daughter, The Maven, in their thoughts and appear overly dramatic and mysterious about what's going on with her.  I thought I could just write about mundane little things going on at Boston Manor, but helping The Maven is all consuming at this point, if not physically, then emotionally and mentally.  So my choice was to just take a hiatus from the blog for a while or let my good friends on here know what is going on with my pretty girl.

She told me that she would like me to share her story at this particular time with my friends and family on here, many who already know a good bit about what is going on.  The Maven is a big believer in the fact that if you share a difficult experience with people, perhaps there is someone out there who is helped by your story, or someone who has insight that they may want to share.

The Maven has been staying with us for about 6 weeks now because she has the symptoms of Vertigo and they will not go away.  We suspected why this may have been happening and that has now been confirmed through tests and scans.  

Last year a MRI of her brain showed that she had a small benign tumor in the ear region of her brain.  It is called an Acoustic Neuroma.  When it was discovered we were told that it would probably be a long time before it may ever affect her, if ever.

Ever came this February. 
 Usually these tumors are a nuisance and affect the hearing of a person when they grow, but The Maven's is resting on her balance nerve and these Vertigo symptoms are signs that the tumor has grown - a very little bit, but enough to be disruptive to her sense of balance.  She is unable to drive, work, walk for any length of time and is often nauseated as the day progresses.  

The solution for this is surgery.  Brain surgery.  Which is very scary sounding, and honestly freaked us out at first to contemplate it.  However, over the weeks we have talked to so many experts and learned so much about how this surgery is done that we all have developed a comfort level with it.  Almost to the point where we are saying, "let's just do it!"

The doctors told us The Maven needed to take a good amount of time to make her decision and they have sent her for numerous tests to measure hearing levels, balance irregularities and nerve function.  In the course of the last several weeks it has become clear to The Maven that she wants to have this surgery which should take care of her balance issues. As with any surgery, there are risks and that is what we worry about most, especially in the region of the brain. We are grateful to have a large city nearby full of some of the best neuro-surgeons and ENT surgeons in the country. And doctors and experts who have taken the time to explain details over and over again.

Good news from a complicated test she had yesterday, the tumor has not caused any nerve damage - a real plus for recovery. And hopefully after a bit of a recovery period she can get back to her old life, her much-loved job and living on her own with her two kitties. 

Her employers have been wonderfully understanding thus far and that has been one less thing she needs to worry about.  She and I are hanging out together just like the old days, watching "our" shows, sometimes arguing over laundry duty, you know, the usual mom/daughter drama. Mr. Tennis is once again outnumbered.

We've laughed, we've cried, we've yelled, we've laughed again.  And that's how I know we and she are all going to get through this as long as we can still laugh about some of the silliness that we've experienced along the way.  And there has been plenty of odd and silly experiences.

So, I will understand if you'd rather not read about it.  I may never write about it much again.  I don't know.  I may write about it a lot.  All I know is that I think about it constantly and it's hard to take funny pictures of the dogs (having the camera card would help) and come up with things to say about them when my heart is just not in it.

There you have it. I so appreciate all the supportive comments I've received on past posts and I always show them to The Maven if she hasn't already read the blog.
Being away from friends and family is difficult at a time like this, but we are so grateful for the support they give us from afar as well as the well wishes from so may new friends via the blogosphere. 

Boston Lady out, for now.


The Country Mouse said...

A beautiful post about a beautiful girl. I have been thinking about all the Bostons and know this is such a difficult time. You are doing the right thing by taking your time to come to just the right plan of action. You are always in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm glad your blog helps let me know what's going on with you! Keep taking care of our Maven.

Razmataz said...

Both my sister and my cousin have had very major brain surgery and both have had good outcomes. Medicine is so amazing now, we are blessed to have the skills and the equipment to perform such amazing procedures. It is scary, but it seems like your girl really needs to have the operation because the way she has to live now is too difficult. Vertigo must be just awful. A brave decision for a very strong girl. Keep us posted. We all care very much about her and you.

Vicki @ lifeinmyemptynest said...

There is nothing worse than when something affects your child - no wonder you have been worried. Thanks for sharing her story and many prayers and good wishes for a successful surgery!

Edilma Weissmueller said...

I am in a constant and permanent state of prayer and I have faith that things will turn out good for Wendy. Hang in there all of you, The positive wishes from your readers(friends) will help I know it.
When time are hard, count your blessings you will be surprised the way the balance tips. MUCH LOVE

Val said...

Oh wow. My thoughts and prayers are definitely with you guys through this. If there's anything else that I or Zuul can do, /please/ do let us know!

Lots of love and good thoughts to everybody!!

Claudia said...

Thank you to the Maven for being willing to share her journey with us. I am sending you all sorts of love and prayers. Please let the Maven know she is in our thoughts and we are holding her in our hearts.


Anonymous said...

Firstly, MS. Maven, let your courage be the guide which holds your mother's legs firm. I really like it when others share their stories. Mine may be an auto-immune and your Vertigo but life is interrupted none the less. Be brave young lady and I'll keep you in my prayers.

MRS Boston Lady... I love that name. Your doing just fine. It's okay to be scared and funny at the same time. If I've learned one thing in my battle, my emotion can change on a minute. IT's probably what actually keeps me sane.

So you take those pictures of your pups and make Ms Maven sit in on them. They'll both having you smiling in no time. She's young & probably tougher than most of us.

And a boston always lifts spirits!
hugs to you all.

Corn in my Coffee-Pot said...

Of course these are difficult times!
I know that The Maven is a brave young lady to let you share her story.
Prayers and support are definitely what you will get from the blogging community.
No one ever shuns or turns away. If that is what you blog about...because she is your daughter, you know? It is part of life! Then blog about it. :)
We take the good with the bad. And we all prayer and lend support!

I am praying that you have peace about the surgery and that it is successful.
We're here for you.


Chatty Crone said...

Of course you need to write about it - we have known you like family for a couple of years now - and families stick together.
So prayers to Maven - a brave girl. And let us know when the surgery is.
Love and hugs, sandie

Sue said...

Thinking of ALL of you! I'm hoping, praying, and wishing the best karma ever that every little thing works out perfectly!!

Take care,

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Thank you so much for sharing The Maven's story. I know you want to be joyful here but we are also here to support each other. Life is not always easy and it's okay to share the scary stuff too. You know I am here for you and so are your other followers. If there is anything I can do to help you please let me know. I will continue praying for her and the surgery along with praying for your whole family.

Olive said...

Bless The Maven and you Ann. I cannot imagine thinking of brain surgery. I do know a lot about vertigo and have had it myself and it is not fun at all. Praying bunches, Olive

Mr. Connor said...

Well I am with you all in what is decided and WE will get through this there is no doubt. Thoughts and prayers are with you ~ is there ANYTHING that is needed ? ? ?

the cape on the corner said...

oh my gosh. i'm so sorry to hear about the maven's scary ordeal, and thank goodness you are so close to her there. i can't imagine not blogging about something that can't help but consume you, but i also know that blogging is the furthest thing from your mind. if you need to blog it, to vent and clear your mind, like today, we will read it. hugs to you.

Mr. Tennis said...

The Maven is the bravest and strongest person I know. I'm so happy to be a part of her life. I learn from her everyday.

Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams said...

Your daughter is such a sweetie, and I wish her nothing but the best.

My Mom had Menier's disease the first winter we moved here, it still comes and goes...and it's awful.

Much like what you daughter is going through.


Mullin Avenue Workshop said...

Your Maven is so beautiful, indeed, and her personality shines through in these photos. Wow, this is a difficult decision, and good for all of you for taking time to make an informed decision. The Maven, with your love and support will make the decision which is right for her.
Thank you for sharing this. I will continue to keep the Maven in my thoughts.
Hugs and love,

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

I'm so glad you told us about it. I will keep her in my prayers...and you, too, of course! I know how worrisome it can be when our kids are matter what their age. Sending you both some extra hugs tonight. I hope you'll let us know how she is and what's next! Sweet hugs, Diane

Linda @ Itsy Bits And Pieces said...

I'm so sorry to hear what your daughter (and all of you) have been going through! Vertigo is no fun and I am sure the thought of surgery is daunting. I am so glad to hear there is no nerve damage, and it sounds like the surgery will help her get back to a normal life! Sending prayers, good thoughts, and a BIG XO!